Trauma
Short Version
Trauma isn’t just about extreme events—it’s any negative experience that leaves a lasting emotional impression and resurfaces in response to certain triggers. These triggers can range from intense flashbacks to mild discomfort, but they all stem from our mind’s attempt to protect us from future harm.
We have two options: avoid the trigger (which works if it’s something we can remove from our life) or desensitize ourselves to it (which is necessary for unavoidable triggers like crowds, airplanes, or family members). Therapy helps by gradually exposing us to these triggers in a safe way, breaking their emotional grip.
In therapy, we work through trauma by:
Identifying triggers that still provoke a reaction
Unpacking trauma-based beliefs (“I’m unworthy,” “The world isn’t safe”)
Allowing the body to process stuck responses like fight, flight, or freeze
But healing isn’t just about reducing distress—it’s also about building positive imprints. Just as trauma wires us for fear, positive experiences (or “glimmers”) wire us for resilience. Therapy can help create new, meaningful experiences that sit alongside the trauma, making life feel bigger, richer, and more connected.
Long Version
What Is Trauma?
There’s a lot of debate about what counts as trauma. Some believe the word should be reserved for only the most extreme cases—events that lead to clinical PTSD. Others use the term more broadly, applying it to any distressing experience. In my practice, I use a straightforward definition:
Trauma is any negative experience that leaves a lasting emotional impression, resurfacing in response to certain stimuli.
The way this manifests varies widely. It might involve flashbacks, dissociation, or emotional shutdown. But it can also be as subtle as feeling uneasy around dogs because you spent years living next door to one with a terrifying bark. The key factor is that the experience has not fully been processed, and so it continues to influence the present.
While the severity of these responses differs, they operate through a similar mechanism—and both can be addressed in therapy.
How Trauma Shapes Us
When we go through something painful, different parts of our mind work to ensure it never happens again. Some of these responses are conscious—choosing to avoid certain people or places. Others are more automatic. A particular smell, sound, or even a color might suddenly bring up strong emotions, seemingly out of nowhere.
This is how triggers develop. A trigger is anything that sets off a conditioned reaction, whether we realize the connection or not. Sometimes, the best approach is avoidance—if it’s a person or situation we can remove ourselves from, that may be the right choice. But many triggers are unavoidable. If they involve things like dogs, airplanes, crowds, loud noises, or family members, avoidance becomes impossible.
In these cases, we need to desensitize ourselves to the trigger. The way to do this is through some form of exposure, starting with imaginal exposure—bringing the trigger into awareness in a safe, controlled way.
How We Work with Trauma in Therapy
Every effective trauma therapy involves imaginal exposure in some form. At its simplest, this happens whenever we talk about a traumatic experience. In my practice, we do this through a Trauma Interview, in which we go through the event in fine detail.
Some therapists believe trauma should only be discussed if the client brings it up first. I take a different stance: I will ask. Of course, you always have the right to decline, but you may find that you’re more willing to engage than you expect—because my job is to create an environment where you feel safe enough to do so.
Many trauma survivors have had their experiences minimized or ignored by others. Some have been met with discomfort, disbelief, or even silence. This can make it feel like discussing trauma is unwelcome or even wrong. I refuse to add to that silence. Instead, we will explore it together, without fear, to understand its impact on you.
Unpacking the Trauma Narrative
When we go through the trauma story in detail, we are not just recalling the past—we are actively searching for the way it still lives in the present.
Identifying Triggers – What specific sensations, images, or circumstances still provoke a reaction? These might not always be obvious at first.
Uncovering Trauma Schemas – What beliefs have taken shape as a result? These could be about the world (“Rain is bad”), about others (“People can’t be trusted”), or about yourself (“I am unworthy of love”).
Processing the Body’s Responses – The fight, flight, or freeze response may have been cut off at the time of trauma, leaving lingering physical tension or reactivity. We can engage the body through action, allowing it to fully process what was left unresolved.
By working through these layers, we retrain the mind and body to react differently, breaking the old associations that keep trauma active.
Glimmers: The Opposite of Triggers
If trauma can shape our worldview in a negative way, positive experiences can shape it in the opposite direction. Recently, a new term has emerged for this: glimmers—stimuli that are powerfully linked to positive memories, creating an uplifting response.
Our strengths often emerge from these positive imprints. Just as trauma wires us for fear, glimmers wire us for resilience, joy, and connection. However, people who have experienced trauma—especially in childhood—often struggle to recall many positive memories at all.
A surprisingly powerful exercise in therapy is creating new positive memories.
Go have a positive memory. Do something beautiful, meaningful, or memorable with a friend.
Engage in experiences that inspire you.
Participate in creative and expressive activities.
One of the goals of creative arts therapies, including Drama Therapy and Developmental Transformations (DvT), is to generate new, impactful experiences—ones that sit alongside trauma, adding dimensionality and depth to what once felt like an overwhelming negative imprint.
Healing from trauma isn’t just about reducing pain—it’s about expanding your capacity for life. By working through trauma and cultivating glimmers, we make space for more vitality, connection, and strength than we might have ever thought possible.